3 Things You Need to Know Before Drinking with the Chinese

"Gan Bei!"

Drinking in America is easy. You just drink.

The only rule I can think of is to not spill your drink.

But even if you do, it's not that serious. You'll just be "penalized" (with more alcohol).

This type of fun-loving behavior is fine in the US but in China, it can get you into some real trouble.

To help you avoid trouble, here are some things you should know before you lift your glass and yell "干杯" ( pronounced "Gan Bei" in Mandarin and is used during toasts. It literally means "dry cup".)

Respect Your Host and Elders

If you're invited to a banquet, wedding or drinking party, you need to be aware of who your host is and any elders or persons of respect (your boss, government official, etc.) You do this because sometime during the event, you MUST remember to toast these people and to say a few words of appreciation. If you don't, they will be deeply offended.

In addition to remembering to toast them, there are some rules surrounding the actual toast itself. Anytime you are toasting a superior, an elder or your host, you need to make sure:

1. Your cup is at least as full as theirs
2. Your cup is lower than theirs when you touch glasses during the toast. This means having the lip of your cup touch the middle of their cup.
3. You drink more than they do during the toast. If the person you are toasting goes bottoms up and finishes everything in the cup, you better go bottoms up as well. It can be really offensive if you don't.
4. You match the type of alcohol they toast you with. If they toast you with hard liquor and you're drinking beer, you're being rude.
5. To make eye-contact with the person you are toasting while you are drinking.  

Around a large banquet table, it may be tough to individually toast people so tapping the bottom of your glass against the Lazy Susan is an acceptable form for group toasts. When in doubt, just follow what everyone else is doing.

Prepare Yourself

If you are male and you are invited to a drinking event, prepare to get drunk. This is especially true if you are a foreigner because your Chinese associates will want to test your drinking prowess. If you agree to participate, you're pretty much in it until the end. There is no such thing as giving up. The silver lining is that if you get drunk with the Chinese, it shows that you trust them enough to do so and it can help you build deeper relationships and goodwill.

Another thing to prepare yourself for is 白酒 ("Bai Jiu" in Mandarin which stands for white liquor). This is the drink of choice in China and it tastes like rubbing alcohol mixed with turpentine. It's strong and can really hit you hard if you decide to drink it fast. If that's your cup of tea, then great. If not, I'm sorry to say that if you are in China, drinking bai jiu is unavoidable. 

It's Different for Women

Remember that drinking is only "required" of men. Women are usually let off the hook unless they really want to take part in the drinking. Although they don't have to drink alcohol, women still need to toast the host and their elders with a non-alcoholic drink. 

So if you're a man, don't pressure women to drink thinking that is the norm. If you're a woman, the sure-fire way to get out of drinking is to claim that you are pregnant. 

Despite all of these rules, drinking with the Chinese can be very enjoyable. Alcohol is usually accompanied by many course of tasty food and once people start getting some alcohol in their system, even the most straight laced become entertainers. At these drinking events, I've seen singing, dancing, joke-telling and unfortunately... vomiting.

The next time you're invited to a Chinese event, remember these rules.

For you experienced folks, was there a rule that I miss?

What was your experience drinking with the Chinese?